Random Things Galore!
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: Short fic of memetic moments in pop culture parodied, X-Men style!


**Random Things Galore!**

**I do not own X-Men, though I really wish I did**

**Part Uno: Who's the Father Now?**

"You cannot escape Scott. Don't make me destroy you." Darth Corsair snarled, as Scott inched along the railing over the Cloud City conditioner. He had lost his lightsaber and his right arm in the fight and was clinging for dear life.

"Professor Xavier never told you about your father, did he?" Corsair taunted. Scott glared viciously at the metal-encased foe. "He told me enough! He told me you **killed** him!" Scott roared. Then came the big zinger.

"No. **I** am your father." Corsair uttered. Scott's jaw dropped in horror. He couldn't believe his eyes. "No… no. That's not true. That's IMPOSSIBLE!" Scott spat, mortified. "Search your feelings, you know it to be true." Corsair echoed

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Scott screamed hysterically. "Scott, join me and together we will Rule the Galaxy as Father and Son…" Corsair started before all of a sudden…

"IMPOSTER! **I** am your **real** father!" Megatron boomed, the dreaded Decepticon lord transforming into his robot form perching next to Corsair

"What? You're a **machine!** You cant be his father!" Corsair retorted. "Ha! Look who's talking, pal! I have more power than you, you overgrown melodramatic bucket of bolts!" Megatron taunted before doing a double take "Did-did I just zing myself?"

"Yes." Scott deadpanned. "YOU STAY OUTTA THIS!" Corsair and Megatron both boomed, before arguing in gibberish. Scott, seeing his opportunity, released his grip and fell through the skylift tunnels before landing in Jean's hands

"It's ok, I've got you." Jean uttered, hovering up into the air as Scott had an incredulous look on his face. "If you-you've got me, then who's got YOU?" Scott asked, confused

"Um, I'm a telepath. I can fly, duh." Jean deadpanned, landing back into the Millennium Falcon with Logan in the cockpit seat

"What the? Logan, I thought you were frozen in carbonite!" Scott gasped, amazed. "Nah, it was that schmuck Stryfe that got frozen. Now less yakkety yak and more gettin' away from those robotic cretins!" Logan spat, Scott realizing

"Wait! Megatron's up there!" Scott yelped, Jean looking at him. "You saw him?" Kurt asked. Scott then exhaled and uttered "He thinks he's my father." There was a brief silence then Jean, Logan and Kurt erupted into laughter.

"Oh man, oh man! That's a real good one! Hah! That was even funnier than that silly tale about you getting eaten by a Wendigo in Alaska!" Logan chuckled, Scott giving him a murderous glare. "Very funny." Jean smirked

In reality…

"uh, it's ok Mom, I was taking a nap…" Jean mumbled in her sleep before grunting and opening her eyes, to see Scott standing out in the gazebo. Lorna sat beside him

"Lemme guess… the Star Wars dream?" Lorna asked, having remembered Scott's babbling of it. "Yup. Cloud City duel fight." Scott answered, adding "you?" "Same thing." Lorna replied "Only, it was more of that part from a new hope where Leia is rescued."

"Oh god, please don't tell me it involved you getting stuck in that trash compactor. That part gave me the heebie jeebies." Jean shivered.

"Oy, no more mozzarella meatball sandwiches for **this** lovely lady." Selene moaned, as she sat down next to the group

"Lemme guess… Return of the Jedi, you were Leia in the bikini, Blob was Jabba the Hutt?" Scott asked accurately. "Yup. Toad was that creepy monkey hyena thing." Selene commented. "then who was that Bib Fortuna dude?" Lorna asked.

"Oh yeah… that was Magneto." Selene exhaled. There was a pause before the guys burst out laughing.

"HAhahahahahha! I can see that! Oh man, oh man, I would've **loved** to see **that** on the movie!" Scott guffawed

**Part Two: Path of the Righteous Man**

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and **furious** anger, to those who attempt to destroy and poison my brothers. And you will **KNOW** my name is the **LORD** when I lay my vengeance upon thee!" Bishop hollered, both he and Scott opening fire on a whimpering Toad.

"Evan? Evan? **EVAN!**" Bishop barked, Evan whimpering in the back. "I'd knock that **bleep** off if I was you." Bishop deadpanned before a crazed Mastermind burst in. "DIE YOU **BLEEP**!" Mastermind screamed, firing his pistol at the two like crazy, but no effect. Bishop and Scott looked at Mastermind with a look that said 'really, dude?' and then blasted his brains out.

**Part Three: WRONG!**

"Come on, let me hear you say it." Mr. Sinister beckoned sinisterly. "You're insane." Jean spat.

"NO!" Mr. Sinister shouted between laughing. "No… not that, the other one. C'mon, c'mon, let me hear you say it. Please?" Mr. Sinister begged

"Cyclops will never…" Jean started. "*WRROOOONNG!" Mr. Sinister screamed

**Part Four**

"I'm the Wolverine. I'm here to kick ass and drink beer… and I'm all out of beer." Wolverine boasted, dressed in a Duke Nukem costume with three groupie blondes fawning over him.


End file.
